Child custody disputes are often emotionally draining and complex, but when domestic abuse is involved,
the stakes are even higher. In such cases, protecting the safety and well-being of children must come before
any parental rights or preferences. This article explores the unique challenges of custody cases involving
abuse, highlights practical steps for parents, and proposes policy measures to strengthen legal safeguards
for vulnerable children.
Domestic abuse of any form, whether physical, emotional, or psychological does not end when partners separate. In fact,
separation can sometimes escalate threats and manipulation. Sadly, children can become tools of control in ongoing custody
battles. This has been seen in a lot of cases, where one party in the relationship seizes custody of the child(ren) while
blocking the other parent access to the child(ren), some even relocates these children without the knowledge of the other
partner who is being cut off completely.
Research indicates that many partners enduring abuse choose to stay in these situations for the sake of their children,
fearing the impact of single parenthood. However, further studies reveal that children exposed to abusive environments are
at risk for long-term trauma, anxiety, depression, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. This suggests that the
critical factor for a child's balanced development is not whether they are raised by a single parent, but rather the presence
of a nurturing and violence-free environment.
KEY CHALLENGES IN CUSTODY CASES INVOLVING ABUSE
Proving Abuse in Court
One of the most significant hurdles for survivors of domestic abuse is providing sufficient evidence to substantiate claims
of abuse. Emotional or psychological abuse, in particular, can be difficult to document, as it often leaves no physical traces.
Survivors may lack access to resources, such as legal representation or expert witnesses, to build a compelling case. Additionally,
abusers may present themselves as charming or stable in court, undermining the survivor’s credibility.
Parental Alienation Claims
Abusers may exploit the concept of parental alienation, alleging that the non-abusive parent is turning the child against them.
Courts, aiming to promote co-parenting, may misinterpret a child’s reluctance to engage with an abusive parent as evidence of
alienation rather than a natural response to fear or trauma. This misunderstanding can lead to rulings that favour the abuser,
such as granting them unsupervised visitation or even primary custody.
Bias Toward Shared Parenting
Many legal systems operate under a presumption that shared parenting is in the child’s best interest. While this approach may
work in non-abusive cases, it can be dangerous in situations involving domestic violence. Abusers may use shared custody arrangements
to continue exerting control, placing both the child and the non-abusive parent at risk. Courts may also fail to recognize that exposure
to an abusive parent, even in limited doses, can be dangerous.
Economic and Emotional Barriers
Survivors of abuse often face significant financial constraints, making it difficult to afford legal representation or navigate
prolonged court battles. The emotional toll of reliving trauma in court, coupled with the fear of retaliation from the abuser, can
deter survivors from pursuing custody or seeking protective orders. These barriers disproportionately affect marginalized groups,
including low-income families.
Inconsistent Judicial Training
Judges, attorneys, and child welfare professionals may lack specialized training in the dynamics of domestic abuse. Without a deep
understanding of how abuse operates, particularly non-physical forms like coercive control, decision makers may underestimate the
risks to children and survivors. This gap in expertise can lead to rulings that fail to prioritize safety of the child(ren).
Practical Steps for Parents
If you are a parent dealing with custody issues in an abusive relationship, consider these steps:
Document Everything: Keep detailed records of abusive incidents, threats, or breaches of protective orders. Save text messages,
emails, and photographs.
Seek Professional Help: Consult a lawyer experienced in domestic violence and family law. Many communities offer free or low-cost
legal clinics.
Use Protective Orders: Where possible, obtain restraining or protection orders to limit the abuser’s contact with you and the child.
https://www.upshotreports.com/securing-safety-a-simple-guide-to-obtaining-restraining-orders-and-protective-measures-for-abused-women-in-nigeria/
Safety Planning: Work with domestic violence advocates to create a safe exit plan, secure housing, and emotional support for you and your
children.
Inform the Court: Be honest with the court about your concerns, and ask for supervised visitation if you believe the other parent poses a
risk.
In situations where a partner moves a child without consent and severs all communication with the other parent, it is crucial to take action.
If the relocation occurs within Nigeria, a formal report should be made to the police, as this could constitute outright kidnapping. If the
child has been taken outside Nigeria, it is important to notify law enforcement agencies such as Interpol and immigration services, as well
as the embassies of the countries involved.
Policy Measures to Strengthen Protections
For policymakers, ensuring that laws and court procedures truly protect children in abusive contexts is critical. Key recommendations include:
Domestic Violence Training for Judges: Family court judges should be required to undergo training to recognize signs of abuse and understand
its dynamics
Prioritizing Safety Over Shared Custody Presumptions: Laws should clarify that in cases involving proven abuse, child safety overrides the
presumption of shared parental responsibility.
Supervised Visitation Programs: Governments should fund accessible, safe, and neutral facilities for supervised visitation, ensuring children
are not left alone with abusive parents.
Victim Support Services: Expand funding for shelters, legal aid, and counselling services for families escaping abuse.
Cross-Agency Coordination: Social services, law enforcement, and family courts must collaborate to ensure consistent protection orders and
follow-up
Conclusion
In many instances where a partner unlawfully takes custody of children, the motivation often stems not from genuine love for the children,
but rather from a desire to punish the other partner and exert control. A truly loving parent understands the importance of shielding their
child from family conflicts and recognizes that children should never be used as pawns in disputes.
Children deserve to grow up in safe, stable environments, free from fear and harm. Parents navigating abusive relationships need strong legal
protections and supportive services, and policymakers must champion reforms that place child safety above all else.
By working together as parents, advocates, and leaders, we can ensure that no child is left vulnerable during custody disputes rooted in abuse.
