In Nigeria, a country rich in cultural diversity and vibrant traditions, the issue of violence against women remains a
pervasive challenge. Despite progress in gender equality and women’s rights, many Nigerian women continue to face abuse in
their relationships, often in subtle or hidden forms that are difficult to recognize. Domestic violence, emotional manipulation,
financial control, and other forms of abuse can erode a woman’s sense of self-worth and autonomy, leaving lasting scars.
This article aims to empower Nigerian women by providing a comprehensive guide to recognizing the signs of abuse, understanding
its impact, and taking steps toward safety and healing.
The Cultural Context of Abuse in Nigeria
Nigeria’s patriarchal societal structure often normalizes certain behaviors that constitute abuse. Cultural norms, religious beliefs, and
traditional expectations can obscure the line between acceptable behavior and violence. For instance, in many Nigerian communities, a husband’s
authority over his wife is seen as sacrosanct, and questioning this dynamic may be frowned upon. This cultural backdrop can make it difficult
for women to identify abuse, especially when it is not physical but emotional, psychological, or financial.
According to a 2018 Nigeria Demographic and Health Survey, approximately 31% of Nigerian women aged 15–49 have experienced physical violence,
and 14% have faced sexual violence. Emotional abuse, though less documented, is equally prevalent, with many women enduring insults,
humiliation, or controlling behaviors without recognizing them as abuse. The stigma surrounding divorce, fear of societal judgment, and
economic dependence further trap women in abusive relationships.
Beyond Physical Violence....
Abuse is not limited to physical harm. Recognizing the various forms of abuse is the first step toward empowerment. Below are the key
types of abuse:
1. Physical Abuse
Physical abuse involves any act of violence that causes bodily harm, such as hitting, slapping, kicking, or burning. In Nigeria, physical abuse
is often dismissed as “discipline” within marriage. For example, a woman may be told that her husband’s slap was a reaction to her
“disobedience” or “provocation.” This normalization perpetuates a cycle of violence.
2. Emotional and Psychological Abuse
Emotional abuse erodes a woman’s self-esteem through insults, belittling, or constant criticism. Psychological abuse includes manipulation,
gaslighting, or intimidation. A woman might experience this when her partner constantly calls her “useless” or threatens to take a second
wife to “replace” her. Gaslighting simply makes a woman doubt her reality which is common when abusers deny their actions or blame the victim.
3. Financial Abuse
Financial abuse occurs when a partner controls a woman’s access to money or resources. In Nigeria, where many women rely on their husbands for
financial support, this form of abuse is widespread. A husband might withhold money for household expenses, demand that his wife account for
every kobo spent, or prevent her from working to maintain economic dependence.
4. Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse includes any non-consensual sexual act, including marital rape. In Nigeria, the concept of marital rape is rarely acknowledged
due to cultural beliefs that a wife must always be available to her husband. A woman may feel pressured to engage in sexual activities against
her will, fearing repercussions like abandonment or violence.
5. Cultural and Religious Abuse
This is a new terrain that may not be welcomed by many, but it can be likened to institutional abuse, but this form of abuse uses cultural or
religious beliefs to justify control or harm. For example, a Nigerian woman might be told that her suffering is “God’s will” or that enduring
abuse is her duty as a “good wife.” Such manipulation leverages deeply ingrained beliefs to silence victims. It is real and it should be
discussed.
Recognizing the Signs of Abuse
Identifying abuse, especially when it is subtle, requires awareness of specific red flags. Below are signs that women should watch for in
their relationships:
Constant Criticism or Humiliation: If a partner frequently insults or belittles a woman, whether in private or public, it is a sign of
emotional abuse. For example, a husband who mocks his wife’s cooking or appearance in front of family members is undermining her confidence.
Control and Isolation: Abusers often seek to control their partner’s movements, friendships, or access to resources. A Nigerian woman might
notice her husband forbids her from visiting friends, monitors her phone calls, or restricts her access to money.
Blame-Shifting and Gaslighting: If a woman is constantly blamed for her partner’s anger or made to feel she is “crazy” for questioning his
behavior, she may be experiencing psychological abuse.
Threats and Intimidation: Threats to harm the woman, her children, or her family are clear signs of abuse. Even subtle threats, like
threatening to send a wife back to her parents’ house, are manipulative tactics.
Unwanted Sexual Pressure: Any sexual act performed without consent, even within marriage, is abuse. A woman should feel safe to say no without
fear of retaliation.
Economic Control: If a partner controls all financial decisions or prevents a woman from earning her own income, it is a form of abuse aimed at
maintaining power.
The Impact of Abuse on Women
The consequences of abuse are profound, affecting every aspect of a woman’s life. Physically, women may suffer injuries, chronic pain, or
health issues from stress. Emotionally, abuse can lead to anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Socially, abused women
may become isolated, losing connections with family and friends. Economically, financial abuse can trap women in poverty, especially if they
lack access to resources or employment.
In Nigeria, the societal impact is compounded by stigma. Women who speak out about abuse often face blame or ostracism. For example, a woman
who leaves an abusive marriage may be labeled “stubborn” or “unsubmissive,” making it harder for her to seek support. Additionally, the lack
of robust legal protections and enforcement exacerbates the problem. While Nigeria’s Violence Against Persons Prohibition (VAPP) Act of 2015
criminalizes various forms of abuse, its implementation remains inconsistent, particularly in rural areas.
Steps to Take
Recognizing abuse is only the first step, taking action is crucial. Below are practical steps women can take to protect themselves and seek
help:
1. Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power. Women should learn about their rights under Nigerian law, including the VAPP Act, which protects against physical,
emotional, and sexual abuse. Organizations like the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) Nigeria, National Human Rights Commission
offer resources and legal advice.
2. Build a Support Network
Isolation is a key tactic of abusers. Women should maintain connections with trusted family members, friends, or community leaders who can
provide emotional or practical support. Religious institutions, such as churches or mosques, can also offer safe spaces, though women should
be cautious of advice that reinforces harmful cultural norms.
3. Document the Abuse
Keeping a record of abusive incidents such as dates, times, and descriptions can be useful for legal action. Women can also take photos of
physical injuries or save threatening messages as evidence. There was a widow who was able to provide all the details of the abuse she
suffered from her in-laws and every detail of her husband’s property that was seized by the in-laws in court. She won her case simply by
helping the court reach a reasonable verdict by providing these details. It is usually a very emotional period, but a victim must summon
up the courage to document her abuse to get justice.
4. Seek Professional Help
NGOs like Women’s Aid Collective (WACOL) and Project Alert on Violence Against Women provide counseling, legal aid, and shelter for abused
women. Hotlines, such as the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) at 08137960048, offer immediate assistance.
5. Plan for Safety
A safety plan includes identifying a safe place to go (e.g., a friend’s house or shelter), keeping a phone in a strategic place within the
ouse to make emergency calls in case of violence, packing an emergency bag with essentials like clothes and documents, and contacting
authorities or NGOs for support.
6. Challenge Cultural Narratives
Women can advocate for themselves by questioning harmful cultural or religious justifications for abuse. Engaging in community dialogues
or joining women’s groups can help shift societal attitudes over time.
Conclusion
Recognizing the signs of abuse is a vital step toward empowering Nigerian women and globally to reclaim their dignity and safety. In a
society where cultural norms and economic realities often silence victims, awareness and education are powerful tools. By understanding
the various forms of abuse, physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and cultural, women can break free from the cycle of violence. Support
from NGOs, legal protections, and community allies can provide a lifeline for those in need.
As Nigeria continues to evolve, so too must its approach to gender-based violence. Empowering women to identify hidden violence is not just
about individual liberation; it is about building a society where every woman can live free from fear and oppression. For Nigerian women
reading this, know that you are not alone, and help is available. Your voice matters, and your strength can inspire change.
This article is a call to action, not only for women to recognize and resist abuse but for all Nigerians to stand against violence and
champion a future of equality and respect.
